One of the first exercises in Barbara DeMarco-Barrett’s Pen On Fire: a busy woman’s guide to igniting the writer withing is to search your schedule to find pockets of time for writing.  The idea is to reorganize your other commitments to find time for what is important for you.

Women, in particular, need encouragement to find time for themselves.  Too often we put our children, husband, home, or employer ahead of our dreams.

So, how do we find the time for that which is important to us?

When I gave birth, I lost all control of my life.

Suddenly, these incredibly needy time-suckers took up whatever time was left to me.  Over time they became less dependent, and I was able to reintroduce reading into my life.  Really, I don’t know how I survived those months without reading.  I am addicted to reading and I can’t relax without a daily reading session.  I can’t go through the week without checking the newspapers to find out what is going on in our world.

More recently, I’ve been reintroducing writing into my life but it’s not as easy as finding time for reading.  Perhaps it’s that I have lots of practice reading in every situation.  Since I was a kid, I’ve found time to read late at night, on the toilet, while walking home from school, on any kind of moving vehicle - anywhere and everywhere. 

Finding time to write is much harder because I’m not always as productive as I would like.  If I’m too tired, or stressed, I find it difficult to focus on my writing.  I can ignore everything to read, but it’s much harder to achieve the serenity for writing.  It’s difficult to find productive time for writing, but it’s not impossible. 

First, I have to assert that writing is a priority in my life, and in my family’s life. 

Through constant multitasking, I can find pockets of time for some writing.  However, to find the longer periods of writing and reflection necessary to produce this blog and other works, I have to ask for my family’s support.

Now, many women find it difficult to ask for what they need, but I’ve never been afraid to ask.  And, my family is supportive.  My husband helps with groceries and cooking, and everyone is helping with the daily chores.  Some days, the house is a mess and dinner is a bowl of cereal or a can of spaghettios.  It isn’t always ideal.

Our home life isn’t ideal, but it’s good enough.

Most important, we support each other so that we each have the opportunity to follow our dreams. Isn’t that what family is all about?  We all want the best for those we love.  Helping each other to achieve our dreams is just one aspect of family love.

In keeping with my resolution to write, I’ve been working through the writing exercises in  Barbara DeMarco-Barrett’s Pen On Fire: a busy woman’s guide to igniting the writer within.  Having found the requisite fifteen minutes in my daily schedule, I’m now prompted to visualize my writing life. 

And, before starting this exercise, the author assures us that it’s never too late to start writing.  Some famous late blooming authors include: Mary Rakow (The Memory Room, early 50s); Nuala O’Faolain (Are You Somebody?, mid50s); Rachel Carson (Silent Spring, 55.)  I still have loads of time to develop as a writer.  In fact, I’m still too young to apply for the Frances Shaw Writing Fellowship, sponsored by the Ragdale Foundation,  which is open to women writers who start at age fifty-five.

I love the reminder that it’s never too late to pursue your dreams.  Really, I’m not ready to write the books that I enjoy reading.  I’m still learning how to write.  It’s a continuous process, but I’ll get there someday.  So here goes my (it took longer than 15 minutes) response:

I’m sitting in my Mahogany four poster bed with a shiny red computer – the Porche of the geek world - on my lap and a cuddly son reading at my side.  The sun is streaming in through the windows at our perch near the tree tops.  This is a good place to write.

Later, I’ll sit in my warm Queen Anne pink study at my Command Center with a PC and a laptop in front and books spilling from several bookcases and all available surfaces.  Looking up, I can see birds zooming to the bird-feeder placed just outside my window under the wisteria covered pergola.   I’ll have the room to myself and it will be a good place to write.

In a couple of weeks, I’ll celebrate my birthday back home in St. Thomas and I’ll take my journal to one of my favorite rocks at Magens Bay.  I love to write with one foot in the water and the sun warming my shoulders.  That will be a great place to write. 

Finding a wonderful place to write isn’t difficult, but what will I write?

In my journal, I’ll keep on writing about whatever comes to mind.  Usually I write a response to whatever I’m reading or I’ll write about whatever upsets me.  Angry words to or about my husband seem to figure prominently.  (Mostly, they’ll just stay in the notebook.) I’ll try to include more words of gratitude for all the blessings in my life.  And, I’ll keep on using my journal to develop my writing abilities.  I’m also trying to develop the ability to be more descriptive.  So, at least on vacation, I’ll carry the journal and try to describe my surrounding.  I may even try to jot down dialogue.

I’ll keep on posting to my blog.  I’m starting to define my purpose and mission, and I think that I can inspire life-long learners and activists.  Perhaps this will be a vehicle for helping make the world a better place.  Ugh!  This is where self-doubt comes in.  I hear a voice saying, “Who cares?  No one will ever read your blog, or care about the topic.”  Well, maybe.  But I care, and it doesn’t hurt to try, and I really enjoy writing the blog.  So, I’ll keep on posting and learning how to be a better blogger.

I still want to write fiction someday.  I will participate in NaNoWrimo next November, but I will be better prepared.  Between now and then, I’ll practice daily writing.  After working through Pen on Fire, I’ll work through my collection of books on description, dialogue, character development, and plot.  Hopefully, this learning process will lead and prepare me to write a novel that I would enjoy reading.

When will I write?   I’ll write first thing in the morning, when I can.   Most days I’ll write late at night, when everyone else is finally asleep and quiet.  And, when I am really lucky, I’ll write in the middle of the day when I’m at my best.

So, where will I be six months from now?  It will be summer and I’ll be blogging and preparing for NaNoWrimo.  A year from now, I’ll be blogging and recovering from NaNoWrimo.  This time I will have written a novel that I want to edit and publish.  And if not, I’ll look at what went wrong and I’ll look at what I need to work on to improve for my next stab at writing a novel. 

I’m all about perseverance.  And I do believe that if I keep on trying to write, eventually I’ll write something worth publishing.  Then again, I’m loving the journey!

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It’s a brand new year, with spanking new resolutions that I’m ignoring.

Way back when I thought that time would be elastic in 2008, I resolved to do daily writing exercises prompted by Barbara DeMarco-Barrett’s Pen On Fire: a busy woman’s guide to igniting the writer within.

This seemed like a no-brainer.  I want to be a writer.  I need to develop my writing.  To develop my writing, I have to practice writing.  This guide promises to “ignite your pen and help you become the writer you have always wanted to be.”  And, I only had to commit fifteen minutes a day.

Woohoo!  Anyone can find fifteen minutes a day, right?

The author is talking to me.  I know she is.  On the book’s cover there is a frumpy, middle-aged woman in PJ’s, with her pulled up in a ponytail.  That’s me! 

And the author knows about my life.  “Finding even an hour, much less a day, free of work, children, or chores can seem impossible.”  Right on! 

Finding an hour is impossible.  Finding fifteen minutes, on the other hand, that’s easy peasy.  Anyone can find fifteen minutes.

So, it’s now the third day of the brand new year, and I haven’t found fifteen minutes.  I’m already forty-five minutes behind this schedule.  Yikes!

Fortunately, I have a deadline and a support group.  Once again, I have committed to a project in a public forum.  Those real writers on The Home Educators Writers Group heard my resolution and egads! they’ve joined me on this venture.  They are expecting to read about these writing exercises on Friday.  hmm… I’ve got till Friday.

I live to procrastinate another day.  Isn’t that what New Year’s Resolutions are all about?

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Leaping, Limping, and Cheating to Finish One Novel in One Month

Hurray! Both of my kids are now able to proudly display the NaNoWrimo badge of honor, the icon that proclaims that they wrote one novel in one month. My daughter didn’t think she could do it, and initially set a goal of 2,000 words, but she leaped ahead to write 10,000 words. She has truly been empowered as a writer through this experience.

My 8-year-old son was extremely hesitant to commit to a word count, but he started out with a strong showing of several hundred words on his first day. Based on that, he set his word count at 6,000. There were several days when he doubted that he would reach his goal; when he didn’t have any time to work on this project. There were even days when he tried to write but was hit by a severe case of writer’s block. Mostly, he found that once he put a story down for the day, he just could not go back to it.

So, he ended up writing a collection of short stories each of which were written on one day. This meant that over the course of the month he grew to be able to write longer, more descriptive stories. Like his sister, he also has been empowered as a writer by the NaNoWrimo experience.

The pressure is on to match their accomplishment. Hey, if my kids can do it, so should I!

But, I’m tired and I have come to utterly hate my novel. The only reason I have to keep going is the example that I am setting for my children. How can I resist my son’s sweet smile as he cheers, “Mommy, you can do it!”

Yes, I can do it, but I really don’t want to!

I started the month with great intentions and a noble pursuit to write an entertaining romance novel with a message about education and empowerment. Okay, that was probably my first mistake: trying to mix fluff with activism. Second mistake: I have no idea how to write the fun fluff that I like to read. Third mistake and this is the killer: attempting to juggle at least four new ambitious projects (Homeschool; Girl Scout Service Unit Manager; Blog; Web Class.)

My solution: cheating across the NaNoWrimo finish line. Okay, actually I started cheating awhile ago. On Week Two, I was several thousand words behind the daily word parade goal. I was weak; tempted by the notion that perhaps I could find a way to use all the writing that I was doing for my blog. Yeah, my main character could be a blog addict who is inspired to become a better person by subscribing to the Living By Learning blog. Why not include a few of my blog posts, the ones that were relevant to the character’s growth?

Oh, what a slippery slope into outright cheating. Soon, I started including all the blog posts. Well, this was my biggest mistake. I stopped doing the hard work of building the novel, boring word at a time, and just added my blog work to keep up with the daily word count.

So, here I am on the day before the contest ends. I have a rough draft of a lame novel, based on an idiotic idea, with utterly forgettable characters. The novel sputters to a conclusion with the suggestion of a happy ending, but I still need 8,000 more words by tomorrow night. I’m tempted to just write one four-letter word 8,000 times, but I’m not ready to descend so far down into this pit of deceit.

Instead, I’ll just describe how the main character ends ups in a tangled web of despair as she finds that she can’t handle one more ambitious project. Perhaps I’ll have her take on the job of Girl Scout Service Unit Manager and she can spend at least 8,000 words reading her email.

Next year, I will be a better writer and role model to my children. In the meantime, I’m going to get in shape for next year’s contest by:

• Using this crappy novel to work through the exercises in the book series, The Elements of Fiction Writing. I jumped into NaNoWrimo this year with a lot of enthusiasm, but absolutely no skill. Next year, I will be a finely honed fiction writing machine.
• Collecting more story ideas in my journal.
• Starting a collection of characters (with descriptions and motivations); settings; and plot ideas.
• Selecting a story idea and planning it before starting NaNoWrimo.

And yes, I will finish this novel by the deadline because I’m a mom; and nothing is impossible.

Related Posts:

• NaNoWrimo - One Month, One Novel
• Living By Learning About Writing

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I couldn’t start a writing project without acquiring a stack of books on writing. I’ve been collecting books on writing for years, but now that I’m determined to write a novel I just had to order a few more!

Here is my current list of books and online resources for writers.

Reference:

• Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr., E.B. White
• Bartlett’s Roget’s Thesaurus
• Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary
• How Not To Write: The Essential Misrules of Grammar by William Safire
• Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation by Lynne Truss
• The Borzoi Handbook for Writers by Frederick Crews, Sandra Schor, and Michael Hennessy
• Getting The Words Right: 39 Ways To Improve Your Writing by Theodore A. Reese Cheney
• Dictionary.com
• Merriam-Webster Online
• Bartleby.com Quotations
• Chicago Manual of Style
• Thesaurus.com
• Link to 55 Top Reference Websites

Books on Writing:

• Writing the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within by Natalie Goldberg
• bird by bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life by Anne Lamott
• On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King
• How I Write: Secrets of a Bestselling Author by Janet Evanovich with Ina Yalof
• The Plot Thickens: 8 Ways to Bring Fiction To Life by Noah Lukeman
• Writing without teachers by Peter Elbow
• How To Become A Famous Writer Before You’re Dead: Your Words In Print and Your Name in Lights by Ariel Gore
• No Plot? No Problem!: A Low-Stress, High-Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days by Chris Baty
• Write To The Point And Feal Better About Your Writing: Entertaining, helpful, encouraging; For Writers of papers, reports, books; What to write about, how to write it; Organization, important grammar and punctuation by Bill Stott
• The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing: Everything you need to know about creating and selling your work by Meg Leder, Jack Heffron, and the Editors of Writer’s Digest
• Now Write!: Fiction Writing Exercises From Today’s Best Writers & Teachers edited by Sherry Ellis
• Plot & Structure: Techniques and exercises for crafting a plot that grips readers from start to finish by James Scott Bell
• Idea Book: How to develop great ideas for fiction, nonfiction, poetry, and screenplays by Jack Heffron
• Great Writers on the Art of Fiction: From Mark Twain to Joyce Carol Oates edited by James Daley
• The Writer’s Chapbook: A Compedium of Fact, Opinion, wit, and Advice from the 20th Century’s Preeminent Writers edited from The Paris Review interviews and with an Introduction by George Plimpton
• The Complete Guide To Writing Nonfiction by The American Society of Journalists and Authors edited by Glen Evans
• Writing to Change the World by Mary Pipher
• Keeping A Journal You Love by Sheila Bender
• Dialogue: Techniques and Exercises for Crafting Effective Dialogue (Write Great Fiction) by Gloria Kempton

Young Writers:

• Where Do You Get Your Ideas? Favorite authors reveal their writing secrets by Sandy Asher, illustrations by Susan Hellard
• Writing Stories: Fantastic Fiction from Start to Finish by David L. Harrison
• Freedom Writers Diary: How a Teacher and 150 Teens Used Writing To Change Themselves and the World Around Them by The Freedom Writers with Erin Gruwell
• Write Source: A Book for Writing, Thinking, and Learning Written and compiled by Dave Kemper, Patrick Sebranek, and Verne Meyer. Illustrated by Chris Krenzke.
• Writers Express: A Handbook for Young Writers, Thinkers, and Learners Written and Compiled by Dave Kemper, Ruth Nathan, Carol Elsholz, and Patrick Sebranek. Illustrated by Chris Krenzke.
• Books on Writing for Children by Ralph Fletcher inspire me as much as my children. I’m looking forward to reading and working through the newest addition to this series is How to Write Your Life Story.

Writer’s Websites:

• Daily Writing Tips
• Writer’s Digest
• The Literary Times
• Booksquare
• The Association of Authors’ Representatives
• 101 Best Websites for Writers 2007

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We did it! We did it! We really, really did it!

Today is the first day of National Novel Writing Month, aka NaNoWriMo, in which adult writers have to write 50,000 words in one month to win. Children under 12 can choose any word count goal to participate in the Young Writers Program. The prize? Empowerment.

My 8-year-old son wrote 380 words and I wrote 2025. I am so proud of both of us. It was quite difficult to stifle the negative feedback in our heads, and start writing.

A good part of the day was spent encouraging my son to try. He had been looking forward to this project, but he freaked out today. He was scared of having to write a huge number of words, and of having others read his ideas. When we sat down to write, he started crying that he just couldn’t do it.

I also heard a nasty voice in my head that kept saying “don’t bother, you’ll never finish and your story will suck.” Fortunately, I had declared on a public forum that I would write a homeschooler romance. Somehow, that public declaration and being a supportive mom, got me to change gears and keep on going.

I took my son out for a walk. We talked about his fears. Then I was quiet and let him think. Eventually, he said he had three ideas, but he wasn’t sure which one to choose. So, he picked 2 leaves and a stick to represent his ideas, put them on the ground, and used the eeny meeny miney moe selection method. We returned to the computer and he started dictating. In about half an hour he spewed out 380 words, and he was so incredibly proud of his accomplishment. Later that night, after palming off the kids on my husband, I also sat down and wrote my quota. Once I got past the first few words, it was easy.

I think we can do this.

“This sucks,” Alex wailed, “I hate homeschooling.” He said it, but I thought it.

Fight or Flight

It was a gorgeous autumn day, and I just wanted him to go outside and play. He didn’t want to go. I pushed him to go out (because I needed some time to think and clear through the “to do”list) and he responded, “Fine, I’ll dig a hole to China, but Mommy, you’re limiting my choices!” pout, pout, stomp, stomp

I almost said, OK, let’s forget about homeschooling. What’s the point, anyway? Somehow, the voice of reason kicked in and I realized I wasn’t thinking straight. So, I stopped my chores - which didn’t seem so important after all - and invited Alex out on a field trip.

Just a half hour walk in the woods, on an interpretive trail, we learned about watersheds and our good humor was restored. We were back to loving homeschooling.

Swinging Like a Pendulum

I was experiencing the typical emotional response to sleep deprivation according to a new study on sleep deprivation led by Mathew Walker, at the University of California Berkeley. Results from the study were just published in the Oct. 23 issue of Current Biology and reported on in Live Science and Reuters.

Brain images of otherwise healthy men and women showed two full days without sleep seemed to rewire their brains, re-directing activity from the calming and rational prefrontal cortex to the “fear center” — the amygdala.”It’s almost as though, without sleep, the brain had reverted back to more primitive patterns of activity, in that it was unable to put emotional experiences into context and produce controlled, appropriate responses,” said Matthew Walker of the University of California Berkeley, who led the study. (Reuters, 10/24/07)

Spending too many late nights on the computer was leaving me unable to cope with my son’s needs. I was grumpy, irritable, and irrational. How could I expect an 8-year-old to enjoy learning with a cranky witch for a teacher?

Mowgli, my yellow lab, sleeps all day and night. He is never a grouch. Sounds lovely, but then most humans have a lot more responsibilities.

When will I find the time to write if I don’t stay up at night? I know a lot of my female friends who are mothers give up sleep to write. Is there a better way?

Balance, that elusive goal, is so very difficult to achieve. Good night.

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 The first time is the hardest…

I can’t get that tune out of my head. Homeschooling hasn’t been all that hard. It’s life in general that’s been a bit much.

So, OK, Alex and I love homeschooling! Yeah!

The Good - He is self-motivated to learn and loves to read. He loves his blog so that has been a great way to encourage his writing. It’s also a way to sneak in some math when he checks his traffic statistics. Alex’s frustration with writing has been significantly helped by allowing him to mentally compose and verbally articulate his “writing.” Freed from the constraints of using a pencil, Alex is an awesome writer!

The Bad - He hates doing math drills or any work that involves handwriting.

The Ugly - We have a lot going on in our life right now so it’s hard to drop everything and focus on homeschooling. My sister is getting married next week in southern CA, and we’re going to be there for a week. Also, Dave is switching to a new group practice and we’re living through a 4 month notice & severely reduced income. Stress, Stress, Stress

Unexpected benefits - Alex recently fell in love with tennis so we took advantage of his free homeschooling schedule to arrange for several morning tennis lessons during ideal weather conditions.

Challenge - There is so much that we can do in any given subject, that it’s difficult to keep it manageable. Also, the projects and ideas that I find fascinating are not always so cool to this 8-year old.

My Lesson - I’m finding that if I back off a bit and give him some room to explore, he does end up choosing to learn.

Alex usually can’t wait to rush through the lesson plans, and he negotiates every precious word or number that he has to write. However, he will sit for hours reading, or playing math games on funbrain, or watching educational programs like the BBC Walking With Cavemen or Walking With Dinosaurs DVDs. Alex likes to initiate his own projects. This week he convinced his Dad to help him dissect a round battery; he asked me to save boxes for a mysterious construction project; and he’s working on a comic strip inspired by Calvin and Hobbes .

So, I’m sticking to the daily math plan and playing around with everything else.

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Lucy, Alex’s piano teacher, shared a beautiful story about a rare creature that she once observed on a public beach. This rare creature was a dad who combined an extraordinary athleticism, the knowledge of a football coach, and the patient wisdom of a preschool teacher.

This gifted teacher man was playing football with his 3 year old son, while the toddler ran between his legs. That alone is a challenge, but it gets even better. The dad came prepared with two balls, a small football (that was really too hard for the preschooler to hold) and a round, red rubber ball. The dad alternated throwing the two balls so that the child felt like he was playing football, but he was gaining confidence with each successful catch of the round ball. The athletic football coach knew how to perfectly time his throw with a cue to the son to head out for the catch. His control of the throw landed the ball right in the kid’s arms every time. And the preschool teacher knew to stop while the youngsters were still having fun.

The point of Lucy’s story is that a great teacher can break down the elements of something as seemingly simple as catching a ball, so that the student enjoys learning.

It’s so easy to forget that simple tasks aren’t so easy the first few times.

Today, Alex & I read two books on archaeology. Then, he brainstormed, outlined, and wrote a paragraph on this subject. Later, I posted this paragraph on his new blog. Sure, a paragraph doesn’t sound like much, but it’s a marathon for a second grader. He is still learning to write sentences! What was I thinking?

So, now we’re going to break it down and work on learning how to write a paragraph. Remember - baby steps first!

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