Kayla and Alex seem to think that April Fools’ Day is a monumentally HUGE occasion - Christmas, New Year’s, and First Day of School all rolled into one. 

This morning Kayla told me that April Fools’ Day originated from a misunderstood royal decree that the first day of April would be New Year’s Day.  Not exactly true, but I was impressed that she had been researching this topic.

Yes, unbeknownst to me, a lot to energy has gone into April Fools’ Day preparations.

A few weeks ago, Kayla asked if she could meet with her new secret club, but she refused to share it’s mission.  Knowing that the club members are all sweet girls, I trusted that all would be fine.

Well, elaborate plans were being hatched.  On the car ride to the meeting, Kayla told her Dad - also a big kid who wasn’t likely to disapprove of hare-brained plans - all about their proposed pranks.

Fortunately, Dave let me in on the secret, and we came up with a set of April Fools’ Rules:

1. Be kind.
2. Respect property.
3. No inappropriate behavior.

Now, we just have to wait and hope that whatever  hoaxes they’ve planned for school will observe our interpretation of those rules.  Did we miss any rules?

Meanwhile, it’s been a odd morning in this household.  Kayla and Alex have displayed an unprecedented solicitousness. 

Alex cooked up a batch of scrambled eggs to share with his sister.  Kayla set the table and poured a tall glass of milk for her brother - enhanced with a raw egg lurking at the bottom.

Later, Alex kept Kayla company as she waited for the bus.  I wondered why he had this sudden desire to stay outside in his pajamas.  Apparently, he was ensuring the success of his evil plot.

Alex had planted a stink bomb - a hard-boiled painted Easter egg that had been stored underground -  in Kayla’s school bag, but feared that it might be discovered too soon. 

It’s still early, and I’m afraid - very, very afraid!

Looking for some relatively harmless pranks?  Check out FamilyFun.com’s Gallery of Pranks.

What’s your most memorable April Fools’ Day hoax? Did you ever execute a secret prank, and never revealed the truth?

Hey you, my high school friends, it’s OK.  You can share the dastardly plot now.  It’s been over 20 years.  

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Who doesn’t want to be the center of attention on their birthday?

Dave is 44-years-old today; and, despite his advanced years, he wants a birthday celebration.

What he truly desires is to be feted with a blow-out birthday party.  Who could blame him?  Every year, our kids get to fulfill their wildest fantasies with themes like: Bug’s Life, Zoo Safari, Dinosaur Dig, Ariel’s Caribbean Luau, Spiderman’s Adventures, A Mad Hatter’s Birthday Tea Party, Art Party, Pokemon Competition, Harry Potter’s Wizards’ Challenge, Haunted Mansion, Spa Resort, and Dance Party.

For these parties, we fill the house with decorations, activities, and way too many kids.  It’s crazy, boisterous, non-stop excitement that leaves me zapped of all energy for at least a week. 

A kid’s birthday celebration is the kind of overwhelming event that should only be held once per year.  Of course, we have two kids so it’s twice a year.  Well, Dave thinks he’s a kid, but, really, after age 10, blow-out birthday celebrations should be limited to: Sweet Sixteen (or Quinceanera), 18, 21, and then just the decades.  I really think you need to wait ten years to fully appreciate the moment, and to give your family a break.

This year, we’ll order a pizza, enjoy a quiet dinner, and try to forget Dave’s Kon Tiki 40th Birthday Madness!

If you’re looking for creative kid’s birthday party inspiration, and detailed instructions, visit the Birthday Planner on FamilyFun.com for “scores” of party themes and the crafts and activities to go with them.

For general guidance on hosting a kid’s birthday party, and lots of theme ideas, I always turn to Vicki Lansky’s Birthday Parties book (see below.)  She lays out all the components of a successful party while reminding you that,

For young children, these are the best rules to follow: KEEP IT SMALL, KEEP IT SHORT, KEEP IT SIMPLE, KEEP IT MOVING, AND KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR!

Okay, I usually break all those rules, but at least - with Vicki’s expert advice -  I know what I’m getting into!

What’s your favorite birthday party idea?

Happy Birthday, Dave AND Clara!

Book Resource:

Birthday Parties: Best Party Tips and Ideas (Lansky, Vicki): Vicki Lansky: BooksISBN: 0916773361 ISBN-13: 9780916773366

More Birthday Party Articles:

Learn more about our party traditions on Birthday Celebrations.

Baby Parties: Baby To Preschool.

4th Birthday: Ariel’s Caribbean Luau and our  Piñata Tradition.

5th Birthday: A Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.

6th Birthday: The Art Party.

7th Birthday: A Pokémon Party.

8th Birthday: A Harry Potter Party.

9th Birthday: Tween Spa Party.

10th Birthday: Chocolate Dreams Slumber Party.

11th Birthday: The Last Dance Tween Disco Party.

12th Birthday:  A Girl-Led Tween Roller Skating Party.

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The cousins wasted no time emptying their Easter baskets, and finding new uses.  The baskets make excellent Easter hats!

This month I’m celebrating reaching my forty-third birthday which, despite all the statistical evidence, I consider to be the mid-point in my life.  It’s a time to glance back, while marching forward.

Part of looking back is reflecting on how the women in my family have influenced my identity and decisions.  There are several important women in my village, but I’ll start with the elders.

A love of books and storytelling, inherited from my grandmothers, is the driving force of On Living By Learning.

The Long Journey

I’ve always thought that life is a long journey, with lots of time to accomplish my goals.  When it took me nearly ten years to complete my B.A. at Columbia University, due to financial and other obstacles, I persevered knowing that there would be time to use my education.

Knowing that both my grandmothers are relatively hale and hearty well into their eighties, and that my great-grandmother was as well, I’ve always counted on living at least as long as them.  One is a sedentary chain-smoker, and the other is a borderline diabetic with a sweet tooth.  I figure if they can keep on ticking, my asthmatic and only slightly overweight body should be good for the long haul.

The Book-Driven Life

I don’t know my chain-smoking American grandmother too well.  I’ve only met her once or twice, but I’ve picked up a few of her habits nevertheless.

Many years ago, I discovered that she is an avid reader who is content to stay at home with her books.  At the time, I couldn’t imagine giving up travel and social interaction to be a virtual hermit. 

Now that I’m an over-extended mom, I can appreciate the appeal of hunkering down with a stack of delicious books!

I’m grateful to have picked up the habit of a book-driven life. 

I never tackle a project without a stack of books, and I’m constantly scanning available literature to inform my endeavors.  These days, that means that I’m working my way through books on homeschooling, gifted education, parenting, wired learning, tweens, Caribbean travel, and computer manuals.  That’s in addition to what I read with book clubs or to relax.

Reading is essential to the On Living By Learning lifestyle.

Family Stories - Telenovela Style

My other grandmother, Meme, is the one who practically raised me.  For months at a time, my mother dropped my brother and I with her parents while she pursued her entrepreneurial ventures.

I didn’t mind.  I loved helping Meme with sewing projects as we drank mate and watched the telenovelas.  And when the telenovelas ended, the family stories began.

In true Latina fashion, these stories took on the high drama of the telenovelas.  One often told story is that of the younger brother of an Argentine protester (who escaped to Mexico,) a young man with absolutely no political leanings, who was taken by the police and became one of the ‘disappeared.’  Another relative was a drunkard who drowned in a boating accident.  One great-aunt became a permanent resident of an insane asylum due to complications incurred during her first menstrual cycle.  And then there were the slew of women in our family who died of a broken heart.

It is from this tradition of oral history, that I picked up the desire to understand and document our experiences.

From The Elders To On Living By Learning

For me, blogging On Living By Learning is nothing more than the age-old desire to share what we have learned so that our peers, and our children, can learn from our experiences. 

Living the book-driven life and parenting in the the real world, I’m learning so much that I need to share before I forget.

And, if I can put in a little drama and a few embellishments like in the telenovelas, what’s wrong with a little fun?

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In the past, I’ve run myself ragged trying to produce the kind of Thanksgiving feast described in The New Basics Cookbook. It’s a great cookbook and every recipe has been a winner, but they all require many ingredients and lots of steps to produce. It doesn’t help that I’m a super-slow chef who needs to triple check each step in a recipe or risk total ruin.

Early in our married life - i.e. before kids - I followed The New Basics recipes to produce a spectacular Thanksgiving feast in our tiny Manhattan apartment with its postage sized kitchenette. The menu included: The Turkey, baked onions, sweet potato pie, pumpkin pie, fresh cranberry sauce, and the most amazing pork stuffing flavored with tawny port and a savory medley of tart apples, hazelnuts, and cherries. It was so divine that it became the centerpiece of every subsequent Thanksgiving meal.

This delightful dish became the bane of our family’s annual Thanksgiving tradition.

Every year I would rise at the crack of dawn (for me, that is any time before 7am) to prepare the stuffing before the turkey could go in the oven. And every year it would take hours to prepare the stuffing, thus delaying the roasting of the turkey and the family meal.

I tried to find ways to reduce the morning prep time. On the Wednesday night, I chopped the vegetables, toasted the nuts, and cubed the bread. Still, each Thanksgiving morning found me stressing to get the turkey in the oven and screeching at my family to help and/or get out of my way.

I tried escaping at Thanksgiving and celebrating with other families that didn’t know about this irresistible stuffing. That was a delightful break, but we couldn’t stay on the lam.

We’ve come home to roost, but I’m no turkey. I’m making instant stuffing this year.

Book Resource:

The New Basics Cookbook ISBN: 0894803417 ISBN-13: 9780894803413

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In our family, we usually wait until the night before Halloween to carve our pumpkins. We’ve tried carving them earlier, but then they are just too tempting to the local wildlife. One year, the squirrel hooligans hauled off man-sized pumpkins. So, we wait. Then, on Halloween night we light candles in the pumpkins and snack on toasted pumpkin seeds.

Here are some Jack-O-Lantern links:

• Recipes from Betty Crocker.
• The Story of the Jack-O-Lantern.
• History of Halloween.

I can’t wait for Halloween. Woohoo! Yay! It’s almost over, oops, here.

The costumes are ready. Our home is decorated and the candy is hidden. The kids have conferred with friends and laid out a trick or treat plan that is as complex and detailed as that of any conquering army. Their mission: maximum candy retrieval.

I see my fate, and it isn’t pretty.

The Mommy Tax gives me a huge cut of the Halloween haul. Three weeks later, I gorge on Thanksgiving feasts. Christmas brings festive occasions resplendent with culinary delights. Then, it’s the Girl Scout cookie season and my only chance to enjoy Thin Mints and Samoas. February brings Valentine chocolates, and the school year is not complete without marshmallow Peeps and Cadbury eggs.

You’ve heard of the Freshman 15, well it’s the season of the Mom 20.

If you fear a similar fate, try some of the suggestions inspired by The Hungry Girl’s Halloween Survival Guide:

• Only offer candy you don’t like. How about some chocolate covered grasshoppers?
• Walk. Jog. Run around your kids while they trick or treat. Offer to carry the haul, but wear a mask with no mouth access to avoid sneaking treats.
• If you stay at home to hand out treats, do some calisthenics between visits. REALLY scare the bejeezees out of kids: put on your leotard and leg warmers and feel the burn while exercising to your vintage Jane Fonda work out tape.

If nothing else works, don’t forget the usual plan. Put on weight in the Winter (for insulation), and shed it in the Spring.

1982 - The Thriller Year

When I was a teen, Halloween was easy. I found whatever scraps of cloth were available in my home, turned it into a costume, and danced the night away at the school dance.

As a mom, Halloween is fraught with stress and drama over what will the kids wear this year.

In the months preceding Halloween, I’ve been hearing lots of different costume plans from my kids. Starting November 1st, I remind them of the 2 month rule - no discussion of Halloween until September. Since September 1, I’ve heard at least 500 different costume ideas from my daughter. My son just alternated between 200 Pokemon characters.

Last month my daughter forced me to take her to the costume store where we spent hours inspecting every single costume and accessory. We walked out with a fake cigar and mustache. Kayla was set to be a “big shot” for Halloween. Panic set in last week when she realized that she didn’t have the rest of the costume, but a crisis was averted when she discovered a Whoopie Cushion costume online.

One child down, one more to go. Alex was certain that he had seen the perfect costume on PokemonCentral.com, but when we went online we discovered that this was a toddler sized costume. We weren’t worried. With hundreds of Pokemon characters, how hard could it be to find one 8-year-old sized costume? Well, it isn’t easy. Sure, there is a Pikachu costume for $80 on Amazon.com - but who wants to spend a fortune on a Halloween costume?

We kept searching, but soon discovered that there wasn’t anything else. And then, Alex said the dreaded words, “Mommy, can you make me a Pokemon costume? Squirtle is really easy!”

Yeah, I’ve heard that before, and now that I’m an older, wiser mom I replied, “You know, Alex, that is an awesome Pikachu costume, well worth the price.”

Take a look at my Halloween Shop of Horrors and see if you don’t agree!

1996 - The scarecrow family with a little pumpkin.

1998 - The clown family with the costume I sewed (all through the previous night,) and Kayla hated! She sobbed when we forced her to wear this instrument of torture. We had to promptly, and permanently, retire this costume.

1999 - Cinderella and our newest little pumpkin. Kayla LOVED her WalMart costume, and I loved that Alex was warm in his. The Cinderella costume was loved to pieces through several years of dress up.

2000 - I took the easy way out and ordered matching Lion costumes. These were warm, adorable, and we got many years of use out of them. They were featured in a Columbia Lions Homecoming Game article and were invaluable in several plays.

2002 - The bat costumes were also a wise investment. Kayla’s cheap vampire dress has been a treasured item in various skits, and has been borrowed for several Halloweens. Alex’s beloved “Stellaluna” costume was worn two years in a row, and has been used for several theatrical productions.

2004 - This was the year of the doll. Kayla, and her doll Kit, wore matching Greek goddess costumes. Alex, with his much loved Spidey, wore this Spiderman costume 24/7 for at least a year.

The Pokemon Years - The year Kayla decided to be Ash, the Pokemon trainer, it was easy to find a costume. Her regular clothes, a vest from WalMart, and a borrowed cap were all that was needed. This was a welcome relief from the horror of the previous year when Kayla was a Kindergartner.

The 6-year Halloween veteran decided she wanted to be a Pokemon character, but she left it up to me to find the costume. I researched the many Pokemons, and decided that Squirtle would be easy to make. All I needed were green sweats, a green ski mask, and a turtle shell. Well, it wasn’t so easy to find the right color sweats, but I succeeded. The turtle shell was a complicated structure devised with cardboard, batting, green fabric, and a staple gun. It was tricky, but I figured out a way to attach the shell. I even dressed her little brother in a handmade Pikachu costume to complete the ensemble. I was so proud of my creativity in producing this unique costume.

Kayla was miserable in the costume. Somehow, I missed the important nuances of Squirtle’s appearance. According to Kayla and her new school buddies, the costume didn’t look anything like Squirtle.  Instead, she look like a very embarrassed turtle. Oh, the shame!

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My sister surprised me when she asked me to introduce the Argentinian wedding cake tradition at her reception. I never told her that I lied at my wedding when I said that in Argentina there is a wedding cake tradition involving charms.

I rarely tell lies, and when I do there is some basis in truth.

Family Traditions

When I was a young girl, my family moved a lot. We were rarely in the same home, or even together, for more than a few months at a time. There was little consistency, and certainly no shared rituals. I instituted new family traditions when my baby sisters were born. It wasn’t much, but I took charge of the Christmas and Easter holidays and decided exactly how we would celebrate. Then, I enforced those new customs every year. After a while, they were accepted as our family tradition.

Social scientists would describe me as the ‘keeper’ of the family culture. As such, I introduced family traditions to “ensure that the warmth and closeness of family bondage” grew. Our family grew closer through shared traditions, but we also lost emotional closeness as our busy lifestyles and physical distance shaped our “entropic family.”

I’m hoping that cell phones, a family blog, and frequent reunions will help us overcome our tendency toward entropy.

Wedding Traditions

As the oldest, I also influenced my family’s wedding traditions.

My mother is Argentine and I spent my earliest years in Buenos Aires. During that time, I attended a wedding where all the unmarried girls pulled a ribbon attached to a charm out of the wedding cake. At my wedding, I decided to acknowledge my Argentine heritage by reenacting this custom and declaring the ritual part of a typical Argentine wedding.

Well, it did happen at one Argentine wedding. Later, I discovered that the ‘ribbon pull’ is actually a Victorian wedding reception event and the British ascribe the following meanings to the charms:

The ring for marriage within a year;

The penny for wealth, my dear;

The thimble for an old maid or bachelor born;

The button for sweethearts all forlorn.

It’s possible that the ‘ribbon pull’ did become a part of Argentinian wedding traditions due to the strong British influence that helped shape this nation. Other British customs that remain very much alive in Argentina include: rugby, cricket, 5 o’clock tea, country clubs, and pubs.

Interestingly, I’ve also discovered claims that the ‘pull a ribbon’ tradition has been around in New Orleans since at least 1928. Of course, there are variations on the symbolic meaning of the charms. (Click here for the New Orleans’ tradition.)

Modern brides can choose from a dizzying variety of charms. (Click here for pictures and meanings.) They are also putting a new spin on this tradition by using the ribbon pull at showers or other celebrations. Sometimes, they even pull the ribbons out of a floral centerpiece instead of a cake.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t neglect an opportunity to start a new wedding tradition. At my sister’s rehearsal dinner, I presented the couple with a sterling silver arras (coin holder) and thirteen coins (symbolic of Christ and his 12 apostles) with a gift tray. Traditionally, in Latin American weddings the groom gives the bride the coins as a symbol of his trust and as a pledge of his support. In accepting the coins, the bride demonstrates her trust in the groom’s ability to support and care for her.

The beauty of having no traditions is the freedom to choose new traditions. Even my sister isn’t immune to the allure of invoking new elements from our heritage. At the wedding, guests paid to dance with the wedding couple in a ‘Money Dance.’ I think the bride picked up this custom from her teen years in Puerto Rico, but Wikipedia claims that the ‘Money Dance’ originated as a Polish custom.

With our mixed bag of cultural heritage, it will be interesting to see which family traditions are passed on to the next generation.

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