We’re Not Decorating for the Holidays This Year

I love to decorate for Christmas, but we’re taking a break this year. 

When I was a teenager living in the Caribbean, where Christmas trees are shipped in from Canada, I would go to extraordinary measures to bring home one of these transatlantic survivors.  We didn’t have an ornament collection to put on the scrawny trees, but we filled them with bright globes, metallic garlands, and lots of multicolored lights and tinsel.

I didn’t start collecting Christmas tree ornaments until years later, when I moved to a diverse co-ed fraternity at Columbia University.  As a Christian, I was a minority at Iota Epsilon Pi.  I’m not sure how we persuaded the assortment of Muslims, Hindus, Jews, and I don’t know what other represented religions to do a Secret Santa Christmas tree ornament exchange.  But, I think that may have been the most beautiful tree – it was definitely the most multicultural -  that I ever helped decorate.  I wish I had a photo of that tree, but alas all I could find was a 1987 group photo (and I’m not even in the shot!)  And I still have the sleigh ornament that I received from my IEPi Secret Santa packed away with my collection of holiday decorations.

That sleigh ornament was the first of many that I collected over the years, picking them up as souvenirs of my travels.  I also received many as gifts when I hosted tree trimming parties, a tradition that I borrowed from another college friend.  Somehow in our postage-sized Manhattan apartments, I found space for the exorbitant Christmas trees sold by price gouging sidewalk vendors.  Later, I’d cram friends into the small quarters, and we’d trim the tree while munching on homemade cookies and eggnog. 

By the time I became a mom, I had quite the collection of tree ornaments, but with the advent of children I also acquired talented artists who produce many fine hand-crafted holiday decorations.  Between the years of collecting and the homemade crafts, I now have at least ten big plastic boxes of holiday decorations (and possibly more but I’m not going to the attic to count.)

For Parents, Holiday Decorations Aren’t Optional

Of course, when I became a mom, decorating a tree was no longer optional.  If you’re a Christian parent, it’s obligatory to put up a Christmas tree.  I didn’t have a choice, but I didn’t mind.  I wanted to decorate for the holidays, and to make this a special time for my family.  Even when there were times when they would have liked me to take a chill pill, I still put on the seasonal display.

On the day after Thanksgiving, we’d haul out box after box of decorations.  We’d start with placing wreaths at every exterior door.  Then, I’d trim the  banisters in the foyer, while my husband worked outside stringing cedar garlands on the pergola and setting the tree lights. 

In the following weeks, we’d buy a fresh Fraser Fir, or a Charlie Brown tree if money was tight, and place it by the living room window so that the lights would sparkle outside.  We’d also put up an artificial tree in the family room that the kids could decorate with their homemade ornaments.  And every room, received some festive cheer: stockings on the mantel; special cookie bins, a trimmed rosemary "tree", and a gingerbread house in the the kitchen; cinnamon-scented candles and seasonal towels in the bathrooms. 

Each year, we collected a few more decorations, and the chore list grew longer and longer. 

When Holiday Decorating Is a Job

This pattern may have continued, but for one final catalyst.  Days before Thanksgiving this year, I noticed that my next door neighbor had hired professionals to put up their outdoor light display.  Immediately, we realized that we would look silly turning on our holiday lights which consists of lights placed on three pine trees many years ago.  Over the years, the unlit portion of the trees have grown a little taller, and the display looked more and more like an ode to the Grinch.

How could we compete with professional decorators with platform ladders?  Do we even want to compete?  Decorating for the holidays used to be a fun family activity that was about being together and sharing traditions, not about impressing neighbors.

By increasing the decorating chore list and raising the stakes, we were losing the joy of season.

Taking a Break from the Holiday Drudgery

Maybe it’s middle age, or my aging children, but I’ve lost that gung ho, decorate at all costs motivation.  My kids are excited about Christmas, counting down to the big day when Santa will make his appearance, but neither cares if we do any decorating.  Perhaps it’s because we’re going to Grandma’s house for Christmas this year, but the kids agreed they don’t need a tree at either home.  In fact, they’re looking forward to decorating Grandma’s Christmas Cactus.

I think that taking a Christmas break may be just what we need to discover the lost joy of the holidays.  We’re not going to keep any of our usual traditions.

We’re not hauling down the holiday decorations from the attic.  We’re not turning on holiday lights.  We’re not sending Christmas cards.  We’re not putting up a tree.  We’re not exchanging gifts (although Santa is welcome!)  We’re not baking cookies (unless we pop in the readymade dough.)  We’re not cooking a Christmas dinner (but we’ll order Take Out.)  And, best of all, we’re not scrubbing the house, or cleaning the mess after the holidays.

This year, our Christmas will be about enjoying being with family.  No commitments.  No obligations.  Who knows, maybe we’ll start a new tradition.

How are you keeping sane this holiday season?

Tales of Christmas Past:

• Our Days of Christmas (2008)
• Do Digital Cards Say I Love You? (2008)
• Girl Scouts’ Victorian Christmas Tea (2008)
• Armchair Shopping Hero (2007)
• Avoid One-Use Wonders This Holiday Season! (2007)

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