Good Morning, Teenager, Happy Birthday!

“Good Morning, Teenager,” I sang loudly, for the first time ever, “Happy Birthday, rise and shine!”

Today is my oldest child’s 13th birthday, but it’s also her first day back to school after Spring Break.  It’s never easy to wake an adolescent, especially one who rang in her birthday with a little quality reading well into the midnight hour.  Post vacation schedule, it could be a nightmare to get this child to rise and shine.

It’s her birthday; however, and she was eager to share this day with her friends, just the way she wanted it, looking just the way that she wanted to look. 

Punk Rocker, 2009.  This fashion statement called for Desperately Seeking Susan rubber bracelets, a wide animal print belt with flashes of neon, and super-skinny jeans that must be worn with a long shirt (for reasons that would embarrass my child if uttered aloud.) 

I wasn’t thrilled with the clothes when she displayed them after a get-whatever-you-want shopping trip with her grandmother.  However, I’ve been trying to pick my battles.  In the greater scheme of things, where makeup is as prevalent as cell phone bling, these clothes aren’t too bad.

My little girl, who is now at least an inch taller than I, is not so little anymore.  Sweet dresses, hair ornaments, and Mary Janes are gone forever.

But, she’s still a kid, wearing the clothes with an innocent playful heart, and a Duncan Butterfly yo-yo in her hand.

I think that some part of her would love another celebration like the Bug Happy Birthday Party of yesteryear.

In fact, packed into a sturdy Abercrombie shopping bag, she’s carrying a sugary sweet treat for her class, an assortment of cookies that she plans to dress as mini candy pizzas with condiments that include chocolate syrup, marshmallows, Twizzlers, and Air Heads.

She’s a teenager, a tall, beautiful woman-in-the-making; but, she is still a child who loves candy, toys, her dog, and her family.

I’ve kept a New York Times essay by Gina Bria, clipped from the newspaper way back when this child was on order from the baby factory, titled, “Celebrating Kinship With Family Rituals:”

Ceremonies and celebrations at births, weddings, reunions, and funerals are ‘how we change and remain constant from one stage of life to another.’ (Fulghum, Robert. From Beginning to End. Villard, 1995) 

Bria tells us that rituals give families a common focus, bringing them together.  And yet, they shouldn’t be held rigid.  Our family traditions should shift and evolve just as we do.

When Kayla was a little girl, a big themed birthday party was a ritual that I orchestrated because I loved seeing the excited sparkle in her eyes.  It was a time when family and friends joined to share the joy and exuberance of her existence.

We still share that joy, but a birthday party for a teenager is a completely different experience, and one that we may not even be able to fit into our busy schedule this year.

Instead, after her harp lesson, our family celebration will be a quiet dinner of take out Indian food, with a special order of somozas, chicken tika masala, and mango lassi just for Kayla.

Later, if our schedule permits, Kayla is hoping to also have a birthday party with friends that may include a Paint Ball War.  Not so sweet, and not at all a family ritual.

It’s the teenage years, and I guess that I have to accept that family rituals just aren’t going to be the same anymore.

I think I’ll just hold close the image of a recent carefree Easter Sunday, when somehow through bribery and threats, I managed to “persuade” her to wear a skirt.  And she was a happy child, flying a kite, not a single cranky, snarky teenage bone in sight.

Whatever.  It’s my fantasy, and I’m holding tight.

Related Birthday Party Articles:

Learn more about our party traditions on Birthday Celebrations.

Baby Parties: Baby To Preschool.

4th Birthday: Ariel’s Caribbean Luau and our  Piñata Tradition.

5th Birthday: A Mad Hatter’s Tea Party.

6th Birthday: The Art Party.

7th Birthday: A Pokémon Party.

8th Birthday: A Harry Potter Party.

9th Birthday: Tween Spa Party.

10th Birthday: Chocolate Dreams Slumber Party.

11th Birthday: The Last Dance Tween Disco Party.

12th Birthday: A Girl-Led Tween Roller Skating Party.

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