How To Be Popular: Tween Style

Author: Sandra Foyt

10 Jan

This and more cartoons can be found at xkcd.com.

DISCLAIMER: I’m just a middle-aged mom reporter. My kids are the self-proclaimed popularity experts.

Kayla has been giving Alex, her younger brother, advice on how to be popular. This advice covers two major areas: clothing and music.

Clothing

When the temperatures dropped, I figured it was time for Alex to stop wearing short-sleeved t-shirts and shorts. So, I took the kids to the mall, and Kayla helped Alex pick out some outfits that she deemed “cool.” She convinced Alex that the new LL Bean shirts would help him be popular.

I still don’t know where they think he will be popular since we’re not running any popularity contests at home where Alex is homeschooled. Also, maybe I’m just not hip enough, but I didn’t see any style difference between the old and new ensembles. It just looked like jeans and long-sleeved polo shirts to me.

Music

I’m not entirely sure if this is Kayla’s advice, or Alex’s perception, but it seems that learning to play the piano isn’t cool. Alex is worried that he will jeopardize his popularity if he continues to take piano lessons. He feels that he should switch to playing the electric guitar.

Alex has found his musical calling on the Legends of Rock Guitar Hero III.

Well, who could blame him? With Guitar Hero, you can clearly imagine that you are playing some rocking songs. This music is way cooler than the Jingle Bells that he is learning on the piano. There really is no comparison.

And, he’s a kid. He doesn’t realize that all those rock legends had to start with simple songs. Alex wants to play the music that will rock the house now.

The Mom’s Job

This is where I, the mom, get to step in. Even though I dislike the idea of promoting the pursuit of popularity, I encouraged the popularity advice when it meant that there was a chance that my son would be inspired to wear weather-appropriate, matching clothes. However, there is no way that I’m going to allow Alex to quit music lessons because he thinks it’s not cool to play the piano.

So, what are my options?

I’ve told him that you have to learn to play the piano before you can advance to the electric guitar. I’ve also told him that true popularity is based in treating people well. Do you have any other suggestions? Please post them in the comment box.

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Filed under: family, parenting

7 Responses for "How To Be Popular: Tween Style"

ann January 10th, 2008 at 8:48 pm 1
What is your goal? How much piano qualifies? What if he was really passionate about another instrument - could he switch? Why not provide a time or achievement deadline? “You will be required to practice and make progress on the piano for one more year. After that year I will consider your request to learn someother instrument.” Sometimes the inspiration matters and if coolness can motivate for reasonable achievement then use it to get him to learn what you want him to master. If you think he’ll just drop it after a few weeks and aim for the next cool thing then make him an offer to change after you determine that he has made progress acceptable to you. Good luck!
livingbylearning January 10th, 2008 at 10:38 pm 2
I see your point about clarifying my goals and intentions regarding insisting that he stick with piano. As you can imagine, learning how to play an instrument (and doing the daily practice) can lead to joy and dread - sometimes daily.

In general, the pursuit of popularity is not a goal that I encourage, although I’m not above using the “coolness” factor when it suits my goals. I don’t think a kid should quit something they enjoy - whether it’s an instrument, academics, or an unusual hobby - just because it’s not popular.

This reasoning often leads bright kids to act dumb in school.

Ideally, I’d love to find a way to persuade Alex that the piano is a cool instrument and that there are lots of popular pianists.
dianeinjapan January 14th, 2008 at 2:07 am 3
Yeah, providing some good (cool) piano role models would certainly be a nice idea, and I also like the idea of clear goals and intentions. I think it’s also good, if it comes to this, to remind kids that not everything they do will come easily or be fun. Sometimes piano practice, and even soccer practice and guitar practice, are more work than fun (those guitar strings when you haven’t toughened up your fingertips yet–ouch!), but there’s a big payoff when you stick with these things. Of course, it’s possible that a particular kid isn’t a good match for a particular instrument, and that’s something to consider–but as you obviously know, it’s a wonderful thing to learn the basics of piano first before moving on to or adding another instrument. All of this hits home with me, as I took piano lessons for ten years, and both of my kids have been taking lessons for a while now–and my son is now in guitar as well!
livingbylearning January 14th, 2008 at 10:15 am 4
It’s hard to convince a young child to stick with things. My son doesn’t have any first-hand experience of the benefits of sticking with anything. My older daughter; however, can see where working through something has paid off.

The challenge is to motivate my son to want to stick with the piano, at least for this year.

It helps that he is meeting others (like the young couple at the ski lodge yesterday) who encourage him to keep on playing the piano.
Freddy January 14th, 2008 at 10:13 pm 5
Are you his teacher, or does someone else teach him piano?
Consider talking to his teacher about helping Alex choose some songs that would be more interesting to play, as well as his usual songs.
When I was still taking violin lessons, my teacher made me practice some really boring awful stuff that really helped improve my playing, and some mediocre classical songs, as well as some really fun songs, such as the Hedwig theme from Harry Potter, and some fun bluegrass. I looked forward to being able to play the fun stuff, so I kept practicing the boring pieces as well.
kayla January 16th, 2008 at 10:23 pm 6
The reason Alex wants to quit the piano and i want to quit the harp is because we hate practicing NOT because i told him that it is not cool! You forgot how i got him into green-day music (though he sounds like a dead cow when he tries to sing it.) You also forgot that i like guitar hero III to! And polo shirts are very cool opposed to his icky turtlenecks with hole on the center of the chest from his chewing. thank you for looking at my comment but it you want to see a blog hat is way awesomer than my mom’s than go to http://elferkid.blogspot.com/
JHS January 20th, 2008 at 3:30 pm 7
Thanks for participating in this week’s Carnival of Family Life, hosted at Diary of 1!!