I can’t wait for Halloween. Woohoo! Yay! It’s almost over, oops, here.
The costumes are ready. Our home is decorated and the candy is hidden. The kids have conferred with friends and laid out a trick or treat plan that is as complex and detailed as that of any conquering army. Their mission: maximum candy retrieval.
I see my fate, and it isn’t pretty.
The Mommy Tax gives me a huge cut of the Halloween haul. Three weeks later, I gorge on Thanksgiving feasts. Christmas brings festive occasions resplendent with culinary delights. Then, it’s the Girl Scout cookie season and my only chance to enjoy Thin Mints and Samoas. February brings Valentine chocolates, and the school year is not complete without marshmallow Peeps and Cadbury eggs.
You’ve heard of the Freshman 15, well it’s the season of the Mom 20.
If you fear a similar fate, try some of the suggestions inspired by The Hungry Girl’s Halloween Survival Guide:
- Only offer candy you don’t like. How about some chocolate covered grasshoppers?
- Walk. Jog. Run around your kids while they trick or treat. Offer to carry the haul, but wear a mask with no mouth access to avoid sneaking treats.
- If you stay at home to hand out treats, do some calisthenics between visits. REALLY scare the bejeezees out of kids: put on your leotard and leg warmers and feel the burn while exercising to your vintage Jane Fonda work out tape.
If nothing else works, don’t forget the usual plan. Put on weight in the Winter (for insulation), and shed it in the Spring.
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The Chocolate Momster 10.30.07 at 9:29 am
or just imagine the candy being infested with worms or those tiny little sugar ants - doesn’t work for me, but it might work for you:) Is there a chocolate diet?